Looking after your own
by Nneave
Summary: Set after Parker's Family Ties; please read first or it will not make any sense. Slight A/U in that it drifts away from team but stilll Leverage Universe. Appologies for the title - so much harder than the stories to write. Eliot finds lost love, wants to rekindly; she's not so keen. A story of seperation and pain, followed eventually by love and hope.
1. Chapter 1

**Sequel to: Parker's Family Ties: (A/U) as it follows events from this story but not crossover, it's still Leverage universe just less team more Eliot.**

**I, the idiot known as Nneave, being a muppet of the first order, completely lost track of time in finishing/uploading 'Parker's Family Ties' and the story is now locked so I cannot add to it or update it. Instead I've completed it in part of the memories in an already planned sequel. It means it's covered in a clumsier than it should be way, and a little less detailed than it is in my head, but hopefully it works.**

**Originally I'd planned for Hardison to be the one killed by the Russian's, and the information lost that way. Although it would have made for a cleaner story, I couldn't bring myself to do that to Parker – love her; she'd suffered enough.**

**Please read and review – constructive criticism absolutely encouraged.**

**Thank you, Nneave xx**

...

Chapter 1:

Jamie rarely had any grown up time. Oh there was a snatched hour here and there, a rare sleepover when Jamie had been poorly; but when she stopped to think about it, a whole day? An evening out? Overnight in a hotel? The last time was... well... before. Before Elle, before she'd moved here, before her world had changed. 6 years she'd been here. 6 years into her new life and this was the first night out she'd had since...

Putting that thought out of her mind she carefully carried her overnight bag and the extortionately priced, but jaw dropping dress she'd bought for the occasion, down the stairs as she waited for her ride. Not tonight; tonight was about futures: beautiful, bright and promising futures. Tonight she would not think of that: she would not think of him.

Jamie had waved her daughter off only an hour before, all excitement and energy; full of life and the idea of adventure. It scared Jamie to let her out of her sight for so long. Terrified her that she couldn't be there every minute of every day to protect her but she worked hard to make sure her daughter didn't know she was in danger, and that meant letting her have some freedom. It had been six years but still she worried that one day someone would find them.

Forcing the thoughts and memories out of her mind she watched as Katie's car approached, smiling as the friends she'd made over the last few years, friends that had slowly become her family spilled out, with squeals of excitement at their impending trip. Jamie found herself grinning as their excitement and enthusiasm echoed that of her daughter a short while ago, but couldn't help get be caught along with it, like a teenager sneaking out for their first beer. Tonight was a celebration, a joint celebration really but she was the only one that knew that. Officially they were off to enjoy a bachelorette weekend for Amy, but secretly she intended to raise a glass for her other family; the one she'd left behind 6 years ago today. She didn't know if they were living or dead, but every year she would raise a quiet glass in quiet tribute to them; wherever they were.

The plan as far as it went, was to start off with a relaxing spa day, followed by a meal at a top restaurant before an evening of music, and dancing. The next day would involve shopping, and laughing in equal measures, before taking a slow ride home to meet her daughter as she came home from their sleep over with Amy's Parents, Rose and Mike Duvell.

Jamie was so grateful to Amy's parents, both retired, they had greeted their new, heavily pregnant neighbour warmly, Rose bringing over welcoming meals, noticing but not commenting on the lack of furniture and baggage she had arrived with. Offering her key bits and pieces from their spare rooms, and Mike helping her clean and sand furniture, paint walls and then when she thought she could accept no more they presented her with a cot. A cot that had been lovingly handmade by Michael, many, many years ago and used for each of their four, now fully grown children. Jamie had sat and cried on the stairs when she first saw it. She knew it was a loan, and that eventually it would rightly go to Amy or her siblings but she didn't care; the kindness and intimate generosity of that act broke her natural caution and fear. She knew it was dangerous to let people in, but she couldn't help it; sometimes you just needed to lean on someone – and there was no-one else.

That was nearly 6 years ago and her life was much more together now. She worked part time as an English and foreign language tutor and freelance translator; her years of travelling, picking up new languages and dialects, came in useful. It didn't always pay well, work could be sporadic, but it was enough for her and her daughter and once she was at school full time she could up her hours or find something more formal. They had a simple but happy life, small town with good people. Initially Jamie had tried keeping herself to herself, but her new community was having none of it. Within a few days her neighbours had introduced her to their daughter's, Kate and Amy who offered friendship as well as willing manpower for decorating. Jamie wasn't sure she had the strength to argue when they'd insist on helping with getting the new house sorted; but deep down she was grateful: exhausted, but grateful.

Once the baby had arrived the local Women's group seemed to see her as a kind of project. A part of her was ashamed that she needed charity to provide for her child, but the bigger part was just grateful. If it had been just her, she'd have gone without but for her baby; for her; she would take their kindness for what it was. However despite the offers of babysitting, she rarely accepted; control was the only way she managed the fear.

Within a few minutes her bags were loaded and they were heading into Berrytown, giggling with excitement. They arrived at the spar around 10am, and began the day with face masks and massages, a steam and a Jacuzzi. Jamie knew Amy and Kate well, Maria and Jenny a little but the other ladies were an unknown. She'd wondered if this was something she should be wary of, and had to remind herself that these were women Amy and Kate had known for a long time. Besides, sitting around in a bikini soon broke the ice, and the champagne provided by the spa certainly didn't hurt either. Amy had followed her mum into teaching, she taught first graders in the local school where her mum had worked for over 40 years, Maria and Jenny were also teachers there and Jamie had seen them at various school fundraisers but never really got to know them. Today she learned the other ladies: Claire, Lynda and Fiona went to college with Amy in the next State. They were all her closest friends, as much of a family to her as Kate; and Jamie felt honoured to be included.

After lunch, hair and make-up, nails and pedicures, before putting on their best dresses and heels for an evening on the town. They had reservations for 8 people, at JM's, a Fashionable French restaurant that had recently opened to fantastic reviews and already had a six months waiting list for a table; they had only got a table through a contact of Amy's fiancée who worked in the building trade and had helped refit the restaurant.

...


	2. Chapter 2

They got there a little early and were invited to wait at the bar till their table was ready, they were comfortable enough now to chat easily and Jamie realised she was relaxed and it felt good: better than she had in so, so long. The wine was flowing but Jamie had never been a big drinker; for once though she allowed herself a little fuzziness as she was here with friends: she felt safe.

After a short time they were ushered to their table, giggling at something Lynda said, Jamie slid a little awkwardly off her barstool, stumbling backwards slightly, lightly knocking the gentleman behind her.

"Whoops, 'scuse me ma'am", she heard as strong hands steadied her from behind.

Jamie's heart froze, wondering if she'd imagined the rumbling southern drawl she heard, but deep down she knew: even now, she recognised the feel of his hands, the smell of him as it brought back memories of his touch. Panic and fear rose in her, despite herself. Slowly she turned; half hoping she was wrong, half desperate she was right...

She saw the shock on his face, the mix of emotions, and finally she saw his walls slam up. He opened his mouth to say something and the fear rose in her: what if he gave her away, ruined everything...she panicked and slapped him.

She wasn't sure who was most shocked, him at the slap, or her that it landed. Never one to back down, she squared up to him, despite him being much taller than her diminutive self. "Jamie", she spat at him, "in case you had forgotten. My name is Jamie" suddenly feeling very sober she turned on her heels and headed for the door fast, leaving her friends behind in stunned silence.

It took Eliot barely a heartbeat to get moving, following Jamie out on her heels. She almost made it to the door when he grabbed at her arm. She spun and struck him again, he blocked it easy, but he got the message – back off. He didn't know why she was so angry but he recognised fear when he saw it. He may not know why she was scared of him, he certainly had given her no reason to be, but there was pure panic there and he knew enough to give her some room, he followed a couple of paces behind, trying hard not to show his anger. Although as he trailed behind he had to wonder why the hell he was the bed guy – after all, she'd left him!

They'd met when she'd turned up to protect Parker, one of her foster sisters, she'd tried to take the blame when things hadn't gone to plan, to keep Parker safe. In the end Nate's plan had come through, and she'd been exonerated. They had made it back to the office after the reunion, and Hardison commented on the fact that they still didn't know where Parker was. He's watched her smile at him, before leaning in conspiratorially with Eliot and telling him, he hoped he had some cereal in.

Eliot had frowned until as he was walked through the door, he caught sight of Parker perched on the counter, cross legged with a bowl of her favourite cereal in hand. She saw them and squealed, putting the cereal down and running over for a hug from her entire family. She'd stayed a couple of days longer to catch up with Parker, and somehow when Parker was distracted by Hardison, Jamie and Eliot had fallen into the habit of spending time together, the obvious chemistry building until they could no longer ignore it. They dated for a while, even lived together for a couple of years. She worked as a freelance journalist, which worked well for them both, she was never waiting around for him, because she was just as likely to be off for weeks at a time.

He'd been heading out with the team to New York the last time he'd seen her. When he left, everything seemed fine, better than fine in fact: great. They had made love the morning he'd left, he had wanted to stay a couple of extra days because she had picked up a stomach bug. She'd laughed and told him she didn't need an audience to be sick; go, the team needed him. She'd be fine in a few days and besides absence makes the heart grow fonder, she'd told him with a twinkle.

Afterwards he'd wondered if that was a taunt. He hadn't worried too much when he couldn't get hold of her. After all when on a job he'd often go weeks without checking in; during that time she may have an assignment or a lead to chase. Or sometimes she'd just head out for few days hiking or climbing, but they had a system that worked for them: coffee beans left on the shelf meant assignment, coffee beans in the cupboard meant hiking and camping. When he got back this time, there was no coffee, no note, no Jamie.

He'd been gone a lot longer than usual; the job had gone south very quickly and very badly. It had taken nearly 6 months to get back the Russians off their backs. In the end Nate had given him a 'whatever it takes' order. They had all gone to ground; scattered as he tidied up loose ends. Had it been too long? Did she get fed up waiting? He had looked for her, tried to find her, visiting her usual haunts, calling her contacts but the trail was beyond even Hardison's skill. For her to have left so cleanly, he had to figure she didn't want to be found and although it hurt; he respected her choice, even if he didn't understand it.

He was brought firmly back to the present as she stormed out of the door and across the street to a bus shelter before she stopped so suddenly he ended up closer to her than he intended, which had him on back foot as she turned on her heels to face him, her face angry but he could see she was shaking. He was pretty sure she was deciding whether to hit him again.

"What the hell?" She began in a raised voice, "It's been six years, and you finally catch up with me by accident? You couldn't even let me know you were alive!"

He frowned, shaking his head, annoyed, "Wait, I..."

"Wait? I've waited for 6 years! I thought you were dead, I know we never talked about a future or long term plans but I figured you would at least tell me when we broke up."

"Hey hang on", he interrupted his anger coming through his voice, "I didn't break up with you, YOU left me"

"What, I didn't leave you, I..."

"Really, because I came back and you'd gone. No note, no message, nothing. Gone. In fact it's been six years for me too and I still don't know why"

And for him that had been a problem. He'd known why with other women and usually it was him, his lifestyle didn't lend itself to a typical life, he'd politely break it off explaining he'd be out of town for months and maybe call when he was back... Amy was different, he knew deep down it was only a matter of time before she broke his heart with a Dear John that so many soldiers received; so he broke hers first. He knew then it was wrong, and he knew a part of him would never get over it, but he also knew long term she needed a man who would be there with her, not fighting in some remote corner of somewhere she'd never heard of and she definitely didn't need that knock on the door by a couple of welfare officers; so he'd gone.

But Jamie, he had let her in; he had loved her and was so sure she'd loved him back. He'd started to think settling down was possible, maybe even a family. But when he got home and she was gone...

She shook her head at him, frowning but not letting go of the anger just yet, "I didn't leave a note because it wasn't safe with the Russians after me," she told him like he was an idiot. "I left a message."

"Wait, what? The Russians came after you? What message, where, with whom? I didn't get any message."

"With Agressi," she told him, "he got us out and got me new papers. He was supposed to contact you when things calmed down."

Suddenly everything clicked into place for Eliot, Agressi was a specialist, he did the kind of work Eliot used to do, including protection, wet work, and occasionally help people relocate. He knew he and Jamie had a connection; something to do with her time as a reporter in Kabul, but he'd never asked the details.

"We need to talk," he told her, as he stepped closer, reaching for her elbow, "not here, just somewhere, a bar or..."

"Jamie, is everything okay?" Kate called as she approached, crossing the street with Amy.

"Do you want me to call the police?" a nervous looking Claire asked from the door of the restaurant.

Jamie stared hard at Eliot for a second but the worst of the shock had gone and now there was just pain. She wanted to scream at him, cry and beg him to tell her why. She'd loved him, she'd been willing to give up her world and become a part of his, but when she'd not heard from him after so long, she'd thought the worst. She didn't know what he wanted to say, but she knew she needed to hear it, to understand and maybe get closure. Decision made, still staring at him, she told him two minutes.

Reluctantly he let go of her arm, and watched her walk over to her friends. Eliot gritted his teeth as the two women talking to Jamie kept glancing his way with hard looks, clearly not happy with whatever Jamie was telling them. After a minute she crossed back towards him, but stopped short, crossing her arms defensively.

"Talk" she told him simply.

"Not here, somewhere out of the way" he told her, as he pointed to the small park nearby.

She hesitated, not sure she could trust herself alone with Eliot, but when he almost imperceptivity added a please, she knew she couldn't say no. So instead she nodded numbly, and turned towards the park, saying nothing.

...


	3. Chapter 3

They walked in silence for a few minutes until they came to a bench and sat down, Jamie couldn't bring herself to look at him, just being near him had brought back the pain and anguish, the fear and the heartache. For a moment neither spoke until eventually Eliot cleared his throat.

"Jamie, I don't know how to tell you this. I don't know where to start..." He paused for a moment to gather his thoughts, "Agressi was killed. Six years ago. I didn't know the significance; I never got your message. I'm sorry".

The final piece of Jamie's old world fell apart. Her anger had gone, the shock had subsided all that was left was the pain. She once promised herself she would not waste anymore tears on Eliot Spencer and their relationship; but today she broke that promise and cried. Eliot turned towards her, not wanting to cause her more pain than he had to, but needing to connect, he reached a tentative hand out to her shoulder. "

Our job in New York went bad, real bad. We had to disappear for a while, Sophie was being held hostage, Hardison... he...he nearly died."

"Parker?" she asked urgently, looking at him for the first time.

He smiled, "She's fine. You know Parker, she's tough", like you, he thought as he glanced quickly at her. "Anyway we had to go to ground for a few months, whilst I took...steps. The Russians knew who we were, they knew what we were doing and why. They were ready for us; it was a set up from the beginning. Whilst I was taking care of them, I heard they had put a hit out of Agressi. I didn't know why, I just knew who. I tried to get the word out as a professional courtesy, but...it was too late."

Her crying had turned to sobbing; he wasn't sure when he started to stroke her back, but as his words ended; he became conscious of the physical contact. He wanted to stop: her touch brought back so many memories, beautiful, beautiful memories: beautiful, but also painful. Yet still somehow he couldn't bring himself to break that contact.

"Jamie," He began, his voice thick with emotion.

"Is it over?" she interrupted. "Are we safe?"

He frowned; realising there was more to the story than he yet knew. "Yes, it's over. It took time, but we took them all down." He squeezed her arm gently and leaned in, trying to comfort her, "it's over. I promise you; you are safe."

She stared at him for a moment before rubbing her face. Then nodded once, before standing abruptly, catching him by surprise. "I need a drink." She told him, surprising him once more. "There is stuff you should know," she began, catching his eye but not holding his gaze, "and I need a drink to do it."

They walked down one of the side streets to a local bar, Eliot settled Jamie at a table before ordering a couple of beers at the bar, snatching a few looks at Jamie over his shoulder. She looked good, even with the puffy eyes; but when she first turned around in the restaurant he thought his heart would stop at the sight of her – even now, she took his breath away, made it hard for him to think. He walked back slowly, trying to gather his thoughts and steady his mind.

They sat in silence for a few minutes. He wanted to give her space, she just didn't know where to start. "You'd only been gone about a week when I realised I was being followed. I wasn't too worried at first, but then they tried to grab me. It was sloppy and they clearly hadn't done their homework – they got a surprise when they came for me, but they were Russian, and I just knew." She paused for breath. "They didn't realise I could understand them, they were talking about the New York job, and about taking you all out, and using me for bait first." She took a sip of her beer, before looking him in the face for the first time since they walked into the bar. "You know, I'm capable of holding my own, you know, I don't scare easy?"

He nodded silently, not sure what to expect.

"You remember I was sick? Turns out it wasn't the flu." I realised the morning they grabbed me. Her eyes were sad, but he didn't know what she was trying to tell him, as she reached into her purse, pulling out a small dog eared picture of a little girl. She put it on the table and slid it towards him.

"If it was just me, I'd have stayed, but..." her voice breaking as the tears once again filled her eyes, "I couldn't risk her."

Eliot looked at her, at the picture of a little girl and back to Jamie. No question that she had her mother's looks, but those deep blue eyes, were all his. Not knowing what to say, emotions and thoughts, surprise and questions all colliding inside him making his mind a whirlpool.

"I never meant to be gone so long, I figured you'd sort things out and I'd be home in a few months. I asked Agressi for help, because I couldn't stay and fight this time." she told him through the tears. "I walked away from everything and everyone in my old life to try and keep us safe, I didn't know he was dead. He was supposed to tell you when things calmed down, tell you how to find me, and about the baby. When you never showed, I thought..."

Eliot realised she was shaking, he put his hand on hers trying to give comfort, even though his world as he thought he knew it was in tatters.

"I didn't know what to think. So I settled on thinking everything. At first I thought you stayed away because we were still in danger. Then I wondered if maybe you were dead. I thought maybe you had moved on. I thought maybe...maybe you just didn't love me after all or that you didn't want..." she stopped as she chocked on the words.

Eliot tried to interrupt, but she squeezed his hand gently and shook her head. "Let me finish, I need to tell you this," She took a deep breath. "As you already know I've changed my name, I'm now Jamie Elston". She took a breath before continuing. "I couldn't give her your last name. I didn't know if I had that right, but even then I couldn't because I didn't dare risk it. So instead I called her Elle; short for Eliot."

She stopped quiet for a moment, just looking at her hands, unsure how to continue, not sure what Eliot was thinking. He understood; but he was angry. Not with Jamie, but with the Russians, with Hardison for not finding her, but mostly with himself. For not looking for her harder; for letting go so easy; for thinking she would just walk away like that. He was angry he'd missed the last six years, and that she had been living in fear the whole time. So many questions were running through his mind, he couldn't find the words to begin.

Jamie cleared her throat before continuing, "You have a right to know Eliot, but I have no expectations," she pulled her hand back, "We do okay, we're not asking you for anything. I know, you've moved on and you don't have to be..."

"Tell me about her," He broke through her thoughts.

Jamie's paused, unsure what to say, where to begin. Then smiled at the thought of her daughter and it lit up her face, "She's bright, she's beautiful and she's feisty." She told him as she sipped her drink. "She's kind of small, she loves music and dancing, she loves animals and wants to be a vet. Although last month she wanted to be a circus trainer so..." she couldn't help but laugh to herself.

"She's beautiful," he told her, before adding huskily, "like her Mom."

She looked down at her hands frowning. "Eliot. It took me a long time to realise you were not coming after us, for whatever reason. I...lt's been six years, I'm not..."

He got the message; she'd moved on. He smiled at her and nodded sadly. "Can I meet her?"

She drew a deep breath at that, trying to steady her thoughts. "Eliot," she began, "I want you to meet her, and I won't stop you but, it has to be about her, and not you."

Eliot frowned and shifted in his seat, fighting the urge to cross his arms defensively as she continued. "You want to meet her, that's fine. We can say you're an old friend from college or something, but if you tell her who you really are; that's a commitment. Once she knows you are her Dad, she'll want to see you, she'll want to know you, she won't understand you disappearing from her life... I'm not trying to put pressure on you, but she's my priority, so please; be sure. I won't stop you seeing her, but being a Dad isn't a part time job. Be a favourite 'uncle', be a treasured friend, but being a Dad isn't something you can play at."

He nodded his understanding. He knew what he wanted, but she was right, Elle came first and he needed a clear head to make a decision about what was possible right now; what was safe for her and Jamie. The Russians might not be after him, but it didn't mean others from his past were not looking to exploit any weaknesses.

A thought occurred to him, but he wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer, "What did you tell her about me. About her Father?"

"I've been lucky; I've not had too many difficult questions yet, she's only 5 after all. Mostly I've just said that you live a long way away, too far to visit. I've told her that you're a soldier who helps people, and that one day, when she was much older we would go and find you."

He nodded silently, wondering what he expected. He knew he should be grateful she's kept it open for him, with no blame, but still he couldn't help but think about all the time he'd missed. The first words, the first steps, the first...

Her phone started to ring, and she fished in her bag before speaking quietly for a few minutes. It wasn't hard to get the jist of the conversation; it was her friends checking she was okay. She lied and told them that she was fine, but that she was going to head back to the hotel. She told them to enjoy their evening, and she would catch them at breakfast. She hung up and started to stand, picking up her coat.

"Listen, this has been...you know what?" she paused, shrugging slightly. "I don't know what this has been; but I need to go. I need some time to think, to process..." He nodded and took her lead. As they left the bar, he offered to take her back to the hotel but she refused, seeing his subtle reaction she realised maybe she should make an effort. After all, turns out it wasn't his fault either but she was emotionally exhausted and just wanted to hide, and pretend it wasn't real. Despite the feeling of being overwhelmed she tried to smile at him, handing him a card with her contact details on; one that she used as part of her tutoring business, she asked him to call her in a few days when he had decided if he still wanted to see Elle, and what he wanted to tell her. He stood completely still, staring at it for a moment, saying nothing, until she smiled sadly, before turning and walking off into the crowded streets.

...


	4. Chapter 4

Three days she spent watching the phone, wondering and waiting. She knew only too well what type of man he was. She had no doubt he would put Elle first, regardless of what he wanted, she just wasn't sure what he would think was best for her. His work was dangerous; being around her even on an irregular basis left a trail and she knew he wouldn't put them at risk; but she also saw his face when he saw her picture. She knew he'd wanted children, although they had never spoke openly of it. She also knew he would want to be there, to provide for Elle, to teach her to ride her bike, to protect her and teach her to protect herself; and that was why she honestly didn't know if he would call. Nor did she know for sure if she wanted him too.

She'd loved him. So much it had scared her: she knew she was lost to him from the start, that she would follow him, no matter what; no matter where. It had been stupidly, naive. That was when there was just the two of them; when it was just her heart to risk. Now the stakes were much higher. Last time, she had only kept going for Elle, she knew she couldn't go through that again and come out with her sanity, she had to keep a clear head this time: she had to keep her distance.

As always she was busy, not noticing as the hours turned; so wrapped up in her daughter and her little friends who were visiting for a play date. It wasn't until much later, after she put her to bed and was finally sitting down with a book, when thinking nothing of it, she picked up the phone and said hello. She caught her breath as she realised it was him, and had to remind herself to listen to his words not just the melody of his voice. He'd made his decision; he wanted to get to know Elle, he wanted to be involved. He'd taken three months off from the team and would continue to keep in touch after that, when he was on 'leave' from the Army.

He didn't tell her, but they all knew how low he had been when she had disappeared from his life. He'd hid it as best as he could, but still they knew. Sophie had told him he could fix it, put it right between them if he wanted to. She had tried to tell him at the time, there was more to it, that she had loved him, and that she wouldn't have just left, but he hadn't listened, couldn't believe that someone could love him. Now she was telling him he could make it work, if only he didn't give up this time. He'd tried to tell her she was wrong. That Jamie as he now thought of her, had made it clear they were through, but Sophie wasn't listening, still a matchmaking romantic, she wanted everyone to have a 'happy ever after', but people like him? They didn't get faerie tale endings.

...


	5. Chapter 5

The first meeting was nerve wracking for everyone except Elle. Jamie thought she should try and prepare her, but once she knew she was meeting her actual Dad, it was like all her Christmas Eves', and all her Birthdays at once. For a little girl, who had never bothered about a Dad, she sure seemed bothered now. They had agreed to keep the first couple of meetings fairly short, around an hour and on neutral ground such as the park. Long enough to play, but not so long she'd get tired or overwhelmed; thankfully it just seemed to flow naturally. Elle met her Father and very politely shook his hand and then asked lots of questions, such as what his favourite colour was, his favourite ice cream and even his favourite superhero. Eliot answered her with mock seriousness, both amused and delighted at her precociousness. She was quite an interrogator and she had that hard stare of her Mom's down too. He must have got all the answers correct because after a few minutes she decided she liked him, and that he could push her on the swing, and then the zip wire and then the roundabout and then...

She'd told The Duvells as close to the truth as possible, that he'd been a soldier Missing In Action, believed dead. She'd struck out for a fresh start, neither had any family, so no one to keep in touch with back home, no one to keep them up to date... It wasn't the truth, but it was the best she could do. As always they didn't push, didn't ask too many questions, or ask for information and once again, she was grateful.

In fact everyone accepted Eliot into their lives easily except Jamie. She still felt awkward around him, she deliberately, set unspoken boundaries, keeping her distance, avoiding physical contact and standing apart, rarely being alone with him. Eliot respected her decision although he didn't understand it. They had been good together; he'd actually started thinking maybe they would get a shot at 'happy ever after'; that they could plan for the future, maybe even a family. However from that first night in the park she'd made it clear she was off limits, but she'd been true to her word about Elle. Once he'd said he was in, she'd asked for a couple of days to prepare her, then set out a couple of supervised play dates and gradually as both Elle and Eliot had become more confident with each other, she'd relaxed and allowed him to come over and read her a bedtime story whenever he could, or pick her up from school and go the park for a few hours, pretty much anything he wanted.

She had to give him credit, he loved Elle completely the instant he saw her. She always knew he would make a great Dad, and when she watched them together, it made her sad he'd not been there from the beginning. He'd missed so much and a part of her felt responsible.

...


	6. Chapter 6

One night he hung back after putting Elle to sleep, Jamie was washing up, trying to avoid Eliot's eye when he spoke up, "Hey, Jamie, you got a minute?"

She paused to glance at him, "Sure", she said with a slight frown, as she turned and started to dry her hands.

He sat at the kitchen table, and waited for her to join him. He knew she was uncomfortable around him these days and he tried to give her space but this was important to him, and he didn't want to speak to Elle, until he'd spoken to her Mom. "Listen I was wondering if it would be possible to have Elle overnight during the school holidays next week? Just one night this time, but you know, maybe if it goes okay, we could make it a regular thing...maybe even go camping one time."

"Oh" was all Jamie said, but she looked like she'd been kicked. She fought the urge to stand up and pace, instead she looked at her hands and took a big breath. "Of course...She'd love that"

He frowned, annoyed by her reticence. She knew how close he'd become to Elle, surely, she trusted him? "Look Jamie," he began, irritation clear in voice, "if there is a problem I can't see then..."

"No." She interrupted, "no, it's not that Eliot, I." She sighed as she stood up and walked over to lean against the sink arms folded; always keeping that distance. She took a big breath, "It's fine" she said, brighter than she felt. "She'd love it, and I know she couldn't be in better hands. So of course, it's fine. Just let me know which day, but don't forget she has the dentist on Wednesday..." She trailed off awkwardly unable to hold the fake smile too long.

He frowned, still annoyed, he understood that she wanted to take things slow for Elle, but he couldn't help but feel he was the one who had missed out. "Jamie..." he began, "I don't understand what..."

"It's nothing, Eliot." She shrugged uncomfortably, "it's just...I guess I hadn't thought about it. I didn't see it coming and I should have." She even managed an embarrassed smile, "Of course you want to, of course she'll want to and of course it's fine... You just caught me off guard is all." She was silent for a while as she collected her thoughts, "Look, this is weird for me too Eliot, I'm trying to be fair to you but I've never had to share her before. For a long time I was too scared to let her out of my sight and I'm still having trouble letting go of that. I trust you Eliot. I wouldn't allow you into her life if I didn't trust you. I'm just finding it hard sharing her; I'll work on it, I promise."

He considered that for a moment and had to concede he could understand. The fact that she'd never stopped him, never refused to let him see Elle, or spend time with Elle, told him she was trying. She deserved some credit for that. "Thank you" he said simply.

She just nodded, but he got the message; time to go.

...


	7. Chapter 7

The build up alone nearly killed Jamie, as she realised she felt more and more pushed out by Eliot and Elle's bond. Amy and Katie tried to drag her out for the evening, but she refused. Insisting she was looking forward to a bath and an early night with a book, and despite several tempting suggestions she stood firm. She'd planned her evening alone; she had wine, a new book she planned to start in an hour long bubble bath, a luxury she'd given up a long time ago in favour of quick showers. She didn't intend to wallow in pity, though she knew there may be an element of it. She just needed to be available. Even though she trusted Eliot, even though she knew if things went wrong he would manage, and if the zombie apocalypse began she was in the safest place possible; but despite all of that she knew that she wouldn't be able to avoid checking her phone every 20 minutes, and didn't want to have to justify herself to anyone. So she stayed home alone; or tried to. There was an irony of having a night on her own where she got less time to herself than she would if her daughter was there.

After getting out of the bath for the second time, she decided to give up on her bath, turned on the answer machine and picked up her book. However the disadvantage of a small town meant people were close enough to just call in, if you didn't answer the phone. After assuring another visitor that she was fine, just a tired, she gave up on her book and tried to go to bed, hoping that with the lights off people would think she was either asleep or out. Unfortunately thanks to her well meaning visitors she couldn't get her mind away from a different dark haired handsome hero in her life.

Having him back in her life had been bitter sweet. She was glad that she at least knew what had happened, she was relieved that he was alive, and she was grateful that he was so attentive to their daughter...but it hurt her to see him nearly every day and not be with him. She'd made the rules, she'd made it clear she wasn't available and she'd meant it, but that didn't mean it wasn't hard. She wondered idly as she got up to answer the door again if it was wrong to be jealous of your own daughter...

The first sleepover was so successful that it quickly became a weekly event. One week it would be the weekend, then the following midweek. Jamie found it hard, at first but found keeping herself busy helped. She joined a monthly book club and arranged to meet the girls now and then. She used the rest of the time to start writing again, her reporter days were over, but she still had that novel that had been going around her head for years. It took some getting used to but she actually started to enjoy her nights off...until Amy started to talk about her dating again. It had been off the table for so long, she just hadn't thought about it; now she just didn't feel ready. Amy's reaction told her she thought there was more to it; but for now she left it alone. Or so Jamie thought.

One night Katie insisted on them going out for a meal, despite all of Jamie's objections, she had just got to a key plot twist and needed to get it down while it was fresh in her mind, but Katie was having none of it. It hadn't helped that having finished one of her translation contracts, money was going to be tighter than ever for a while. As much as she loved her friends, she could have happily cooked for them for a quarter of the price tonight was going to cost, so when she arrived and realised she'd been set up on a blind date, she made her excuses and left. She knew she was being rude, but a part of her didn't care. She was angry and walked out of the bar, not really looking where she was going. Which is why she didn't notice the two guys following her until she'd gone another block.

Swearing under her breath at her own stupidity, she decided that in the shoes she was wearing she couldn't outrun them, and they would catch her before she could get back to a busier and friendlier part of town, she knew she only had one choice.

She ducked into an alley and waited. The two guys followed close behind her, surprised to find Jamie waiting for them as them as they turned into the alley. Jamie might not be as tough as Eliot, but she could take care of herself, and after the evening she'd had; she was ready to hit something. The guy on her right, the taller one, tried to pull a gun and told her to hand over her money. Jamie feigned fear, and pretended to reach for her wallet, as expected the guys watched her hands and not her face. She swept the gun out of the first guy's hand, and then punched him hard in the throat, throwing her whole weight behind it. The other guy didn't even see the roundhouse kick that knocked him out cold. Mobile already in hand, Jamie called the police and sat down to wait for them.

...


	8. Chapter 8

The officer that found them laughed quietly to himself as the shorter guy came round and asked what had happened. Unfortunately Katie chose that moment to call from the restaurant to apologise and to check she was okay. However once she heard the police radio in the background, nothing she could say would reassure her she was okay. Jamie knew that it was partly guilt; good, she thought, maybe next time she'd think twice about setting her up on a blind date.

She went to the station to give a statement; and afterwards asked the duty officer to call her a cab but the officer who was still chuckling to himself offered to get someone to drop her back if she could wait ten minutes. Figuring she'd wait at least 20 for a cab she agreed with a smile as she was handed another coffee. Apparently a small woman who beat up would-be muggers had an almost celebrity status in a police station. She was just finishing her second cup of coffee when she saw him stride in urgently. A part of her wanted to disappear into the floorboards, but instead she took a deep breath and stood up to face him.

"Hey, are you okay? What happened?" he asked looking her over for signs of injury; she felt like a horse at a market.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why are you here?" she answered with a frown. "Where's Elle?"

"Kate called me, said you'd been mugged and were at the police station, Elle was asleep so she sent Amy over to sit with her."

Jamie glared, "Yes, but why did she call YOU? I'm actually a big girl, I didn't need you to come and hold my hand".

"I guess she was worried" Eliot told her simply.

"Huh! If she was that worried she'd have come herself." Eliot frowned as he realised she was right, but he'd heard that someone had tried to hurt her and not questioned it; he'd just needed to see her, to know she was all right. Check it wasn't anything more sinister than a random mugging.

"Is everything okay?" the officer who'd made her the coffee asked looking concerned at the tone of the exchange.

With a final glare at Eliot, she turned to the officer, and with a sparkling smile that would put most grifters to shame, putting her hand on his arm, "Sure, we're fine," as she cocked her head towards Eliot and winked at the officer and told him, "My mom there just worries about me." His laughter followed them out to Eliot's car.

...


	9. Chapter 9

They sat in the car in deafening silence, she wasn't sure why he was angry, she hadn't asked him to come and pick her up. In fact she wasn't really sure what she had done tonight that was her fault; apart from maybe being a little distracted and walking into the wrong part of town... Hmm, maybe she should keep quiet about that.

As they pulled up outside her house she realised that Eliot hadn't really done anything wrong either. She sighed, letting go of her anger, "Thank you." She told him simply. "For coming out and getting me. I appreciate it."

He nodded silently clearly still annoyed, and she felt her own anger flare again, deciding to bite her tongue rather than get into it tonight, she got out the car and fumed her way into the house. Slamming her front door and with some swearing she threw her shoes off, still muttering as she started to make herself something toast, when she heard the doorbell go as someone pressed it repeatedly.

Tempted to ignore it but knowing he'd either stand there all night or kick the door down, she settled for taking her time getting to the door, calling out "One minute please" in a fake cheery voice, then opening it with raised eyebrows and false smile.

"We need to talk." He told her as he pushed past her into the house.

"Oh, please, do come in." She responded with dripping sarcasm, "Did you forget something other than your manners?" She followed him into the living room.

"Listen Jamie, I know this is hard for you, but this is hard for me too." He told her angrily, "I'm here trying to do what is right for Elle, and I understand you don't want anything to do with me, but can we at least stop this...this... whatever the hell it is." He paused to look at her, "I got a call, I didn't know if you were hurt, I didn't know if it was just a random mugging or if it was connected to me, so I came to see if you were okay. To make sure I didn't need to take care of things, that was..."

"Of all the arrogant, self-centred, condescending... Just for the record, YOU don't ever, ever need to take care of ME. I've managed really well on my own long before I met you and for quite a long time since"

Realising how it sounded, he tried to explain, "Jamie that's not what I meant. I..."

Jamie was tired, she was lonely, she was worried about money, and she was scared for the future, and what it would bring. Feeling trapped she lashed out with her words. "Oh I know exactly what you mean, and you can go to hell. I didn't ask you to come here, I didn't once, once ask for your help. I don't need it, WE don't need it. You want to be involved with Elle, that's your right and I have never, ever, tried to stop you but don't you DARE act like I should be grateful."

She was angry with her friend for setting her up and she was angry that Eliot had been the one who came to get her, then acted like he was doing her a favour. She shouldn't have even been out tonight, it wasn't her idea to put herself in that position and she certainly didn't need Eliot on his high horse, acting like some sort of hero. She was the one that had struggled with nothing for years, making sure their daughter had what she needed, she was the one who had to tell her daughter she couldn't do ballet, or own a pony or go on fancy holidays like her friends. She was the one that sat up all night trying to juggle bills so they could manage to pay for her school uniform, it was hard; and more than once she'd missed meals or gone without so Elle wouldn't know; if anyone deserved a damn parade it was her.

"I'm the one who sat up all night when she was sick, I'm the one who tells her no when she needs to hear it, I'm the one who has to do the routine stuff Eliot, and I'm the one who will have to pick up the pieces when you are gone."

"Jamie," he began, his anger gone now as things finally began to make sense, "I..."

"What? Don't intend to leave? No; but you will." She told him as her anger turned to tears.

Things should have been easier with Eliot around but it wasn't. She still found him so damn distracting, she couldn't be in the same room as him without being flooded with memories of their time together and it was making it harder and harder to keep the distance between them and all the time she was becoming more and more fragile. So she did the only thing she could, she pushed him away.

"One day you'll get a call saying they need you, maybe it will be the team, maybe it will be someone else, someone from before. Or maybe someone will be looking for you and you'll decide it's too dangerous for Elle if you stay... So you'll go. Maybe we'll have to move too, start again alone, get used to new names and a new place, leave our friends and home behind and start living in fear again, only this time Elle is too old to not notice and it will hurt her Eliot." He said nothing; just watched her break down as she stood by the fireplace looking so tired and vulnerable. "I'm the one, that will have to put that little girl back together Eliot, not you. So don't you dare, act like SuperDad, when we both know you're only a phone call away from breaking her heart."

Eliot said nothing, desperately wanting to hold her, to deny it and tell her he would always be there, no matter what, not just for Elle but if she would let him for her too, but he couldn't. He knew that right now she couldn't hear his heart over the pain in her own. Instead he did the only thing he could: he left.

...


	10. Chapter 10

The night of the mugging Eliot had spoken to Hardison around an hour after he left Jamie's and just poured out everything to his friend. Hardison didn't say much, just listened, encouraged him to unload. At the end, he wasn't really sure what to say, and he told Eliot as much. "Bro that's harsh man."

"I know right, I'm not being unreasonable here am I? I uprooted my life to come out here and get to know Elle," he ranted, "I missed nearly six years of her life, and I want to be a part of the rest of it. I just don't know if I can do it with this...this, whatever the hell this thing is between us."

Hardison agreed, clearly Jamie was being unreasonable, clearly the woman had gone insane over the last few years he told Eliot. It seemed to Hardison, Eliot was better off without her.

"You're right, Hardison, You know when I look back at all the fun we had, I don't even recognise the woman I see now. It's like she's a different person!"

"Hmmm," said Hardison, "well I guess she just wants to impress the new guy in her life, give the old one the run around. A kind of power thing."

Eliot frowned, she doesn't have a new man.

"Oh," Hardison responded, "well, I bet she dates a lot though, right? I mean a girl that looks like that, she could have her pick, even with a little girl in tow."

Eliot's frown deepened, as far as he knew and from the comments he'd heard she didn't date.

"Oh, so what she's spending all her money on herself, clothes, cars, jewellery and Elle is going without? 'Cause if she is, you should go for custody, because that is just wrong!"

"No, Hardison," an annoyed Eliot told him, as he realised it was only Elle who seemed to get new things, Jamie only seemed to have one jacket, one pair of shoes and walked everywhere, he hadn't taken much notice but now that Hardison asked the question it made him think. "She's a good mom, she's a great mom in fact, it's just with m..."

That was when he realised he'd been conned.

"What? Just with you? Mister Punchy Punchy? Imagine that? You all calm and smooth an' all."

"So you're saying this is my fault?"

"No Eliot, I'm saying this is those damn Russian's fault. They split you up in the first place, but how you handle it now; that's your fault. All I'm saying is people don't change that much, and from what I could see that girl needed you more than she needed air. If she's acting like this there is a reason. Figure it out."

Eliot had gone for a drive to clear his head, everyone was telling him he could fix things but every time he tried he made things worse. He'd not really looked where he was going just needed to be moving, to feel free. Before he realised he was at the lakes, it was too dark by then to go wandering far, so he'd built a camp near the bank, not far from the truck and sat there thinking as he opened up the bottle of Jack he'd picked up at the roadside store. He sat there for a long time, staring at the flames just thinking. Thinking about what Jamie had said tonight, but also back to conversations over the last few months with her and others. He'd seen all the signs, but not put them together until now.

The first week he'd been here, he'd clumsily tried to give her child support, what he figured was six years worth of weekly payments in one go. She hadn't even opened the envelope, just pushed it back over the table and told him to put it into a bank account towards a college fund. Eliot, stupidly, had laughed and said college money wasn't going to be an issue either. She'd bristled slightly, and remained firm: she wouldn't take his money. He still bought things for Elle, but mostly fun stuff like a new bike, video games and a camera – all the stuff her mom couldn't afford... Eliot was starting to see why Jamie resented him.

...


	11. Chapter 11

Katie had been wracked with guilt over her deceit and then what she seemed to think was Jamie's near death experience, she came over a few days later to apologise, bringing flowers and the promise of staying the hell out of her love life from now on. Jamie had smiled at her and tried to reassure her that she was never in any real danger, but she was relieved that she was backing off on the romance side of things.

Things between her and Eliot however had been very different, for the weeks after, things between them were frosty and awkward. He didn't try to talk to her, or convince her of his intentions, in fact he virtually ignored her and she had to say, she didn't blame him; but still it hurt. She finally got what she wanted: he was keeping his distance. He was polite when he called but when Elle wasn't in the room there was no attempt at conversation or small talk, he just ignored her. The only break in her misery came when he stopped to ask if he could make Elle's sleepover a set night rather than whichever day it happened to be. She had no objection and when he said Monday night, she agreed without any argument, it wasn't like she could afford to go out on Saturday nights anyway; at least she'd have a better excuse now.

Sitting at the kitchen table one lunchtime, looking at the latest pile of bills in her hand she knew she had no choice, they would have to move. Not too far, just to something smaller, something without a garden, without the tree house Eliot had built and the vegetable garden she'd planted with Elle. The worst of it wasn't the feeling of failure; it was having to admit that failure to her daughter, and then the rest of her 'family'. She had people who would help her if she asked; but she wouldn't ask, and she wouldn't accept when they offered. She'd soon find more work and be back on her feet, it wasn't like this was the worst thing that had happened to her she thought; no, just maybe the worst thing to happen to Elle.

The emptiness and loneliness made the worrying worse. She had some great friends around her, friends that were as close as any family she had ever had, but still she felt; alone. She needed to share but couldn't face their kind words, and so she withdrew further. Quietly and alone she'd gone apartment hunting, she'd given notice to the landlord and was just waiting out the months advance rent, while she desperately tried to find somewhere she could convince Elle would be an adventure not a punishment.

...


	12. Chapter 12

She waited until she found somewhere before she told anyone. She couldn't say it was a big place but it was clean and safe, and considerably cheaper than where she was, it was a little further to school for Elle, but on the plus side it was closer to the park she liked best, where she went with Eliot sometimes. Or that's how she tried to sell it to Katie and Amy. They knew straight away the reasons why, and although they tried to help she was adamant. No point borrowing money she might never be able to repay; it's not like either of them had spare cash lying around. No, she'd made her choice. In two weeks they would leave Abbot's Grove and the first real home Elle had known.

She didn't know if it was the right thing to do but she decided to leave it till the last few days to tell Elle. Partly because she knew how upset she would be and wanted to put it off for as long as possible, and partly because then Eliot would also know and she didn't have the strength to deal with that conversation. So instead she swore the girls to secrecy and started boxing up her bedroom. Not that there was much to box; when she was a reporter she lived out of a suitcase most of the time and her life on the streets, well, she'd always travelled light and since coming here, it wasn't like she could afford too many nice things. It was Elle's belongings that bothered her, she was sure the collection of stuffed bears Eliot had bought her would fill their new apartment on their own. She wondered if she could be persuaded to keep some of them at Eliot's for her sleepovers. Jamie wasn't hopeful, but figured it was worth a try.

Once the girls had realised how tight money was they started to realise why they hadn't seen too much of her, Katie especially had started to think Jamie was avoiding her. In an attempt to cheer her up they told her they were taking her out to dinner. Once again Jamie tried to refuse, after all, she couldn't afford rent, she wasn't going to waste two days pay on dinner. Katie smiled and insisted. It was her apology for what happened, besides, she needed to get her mind off the move which was supposed to happen next Friday; a week today and although they had cooed over the apartment they knew it wasn't what Jamie wanted for her daughter.

She'd told Elle that morning and it hadn't gone well. She was stopping the night with the Duvells and the last thing she had said to her mom was how much she hated her, and how she wanted to live with her Daddy. It broke Jamie's heart to hear, even though she knew she didn't mean it; or at least not all of it. She'd wanted to cancel there and then, wanted to hide from the world and pull the duvet over her head, but instead she followed Rose's advice to keep her head high, and don't let anyone get to her; not even her own daughter, and she'd been right. Elle found it scary and confusing, she was right to be upset, but she also needed to learn throwing a tantrum wasn't going to get her what she wanted. So she had put on the dress she had bought for Amy's hen night and her only good shoes and headed into town to meet Katie and Amy at a new bistro that was opening. Once again, Amy's husband had got them on the guest list; this time for the preview night; strictly VIP's only.

She arrived dead on time, so was surprised that the girls had already been seated and disappointed to hear they had already ordered for her. We ordered you the chicken, we know it's your favourite, she frowned, wondering how they knew that, as she never ate it any more. In fact she hadn't eaten it in years as none ever lived up to Eliot's. She certainly never ordered it in restaurants. However the girls soon distracted her with their news, and she soon forgot all about it.

She'd been there about 20 minutes and was about to begin her appetizer when she got the call. She cringed apologetically for having not turned it off and hadn't intended to answer it, until she saw the area code of the caller. Excusing herself she headed outside to take the call. She was only gone three maybe four minutes, but those few minutes could change everything. Maybe, just maybe things would be okay.

...

When her main arrived she had to admit it looked good. The girls seemed so excited about their choice of food for her, however she couldn't quite get past the thought of how it wouldn't compare to Eliot's homemade version. The girls were talking about plans for Elle's birthday at the end of the month, and how they could decorate her room new room to try and help her settle in and feel at home. They were arguing about which Disney characters to paint on which walls, whilst pretending not to watch her reaction to her food.

She was listening to them, but not really hearing them as she suddenly became very focused on the foods. Only one person ever cooked jerk chicken like this, and she knew, despite all the apologies and promises; she was being set up again.

...


	13. Chapter 13

She felt him approach the table rather than saw him, jerk chicken was her dish; he'd created this version for her, as personal and intimate as any love song. It was the first meal he had ever cooked for her; it was the meal they'd eaten before the first time they made love; the meal the night he asked her to move in with him; the meal he made when he needed her to know how much he cared for her. It was what he always cooked for her when he first came home. It was special; it had told her that while he would go away for work again, when he was here, he was hers, and she was his. It was his way of saying I love you.

Katie and Amy had gone quiet, just watching, as she carefully folded her knife and fork and pushed her plate away. "Is everything okay with your meal," he asked with a voice thick with emotion.

She looked at him, noticing his chef jacket with his name on, but only really seeing his eyes, trying to blink back the tears, "It's perfect", she whispered unable to speak properly. She looked down and pushed her chair back, "Excuse me", she mumbled as she stood without looking at anyone and for the third time since Eliot came back into her life, she found herself walking out on friends at a restaurant.


	14. Chapter 14

She walked as fast as she could; but knew she wouldn't outpace him, when he called her name she ignored him, wishing he would just let her go; knowing he wouldn't. She felt him close the gap and stopped when he grabbed her arm, but she couldn't bring herself to turn and look at him. "Jamie, please. Wait."

"Why Eliot, why?" she sobbed.

"Because I love you. Because I want you to know that, I need you to know that, Jamie please. Look at me." She turned towards him but through her tears, she could barely see anything.

"I am trying to prove I'm here for the long haul Jamie. I bought a business here, I bought a house, I want you to know I won't leave you or Elle. I love you, both of you, please; don't leave like this, talk to me."

"You know, what upsets me most, is that I actually thought things were going to be okay, that we wouldn't have to leave, that I could go home and tell Elle that we were staying, but it was a lie. Is this a lie too Eliot? Tell me Eliot, do you do this out of some sense of duty or is it just ego?"

Eliot frowned not sure what she was talking about, "You're leaving? When? Where?"

"Stop Eliot, just STOP! Stop trying to play me, stop trying to con me. I'm not biting, I know the publishing deal came from you and the team, I'm not stupid. I won't take it, I won't take your money."

Confused he stammered, "What? I don't know what you're talking about, are you writing again? Jamie, that's fantastic,"

"Drop the act, Eliot, was this Nate's idea or Sophie's? Did Parker know? The fact that you would use my own dream against me Eliot," she finally looked at him, "that hurts." She sniffed and wiped at her eyes, trying to catch her breath. "The flat will be fine for us, lots of kids live in far worse, and we don't need your handouts Eliot. Stay away from me."

She tried to pull away, hoping this time he'd let her go, but instead he spun her round to face him, swearing under his breath as she took a swing at him, damn he'd forgotten how fast she was, in the end he swung her round and up onto his shoulder and marched back towards the restaurant with her on his shoulder. Still fighting him, she made it clear she wasn't going back into the restaurant with him; she started to curse him, in ways he'd not heard since the forces. She started to slide off so he tried to gently reposition her, he heard the air go out of her and when the cursing stopped he realised he'd winded her; good, he thought meanly.

He reached his truck and opened the passenger door, rolling her inside. She tried to scramble out the other door, but he held her arm and when she turned angrily towards him, he glared at her. "Stay there, or I'll hog tie you and throw you in the back." She glared back but stayed put.

...


	15. Chapter 15

He drove for about an hour listening to her pretend not to cry, all the time trying to desperately work out how to make things right. When they got to the lake, Eliot jumped out and started to unload his camping equipment from the back, when he'd loaded himself up, he looked through the window and asked if she was coming. Not waiting for an answer he headed out to set up camp.

Briefly she considered hot wiring the truck, but she couldn't bring herself to do it knowing what the truck meant to him. Besides, the mood he was in he'd call the police on her _and_ press charges. Instead she figured she'd sleep in the truck, after all he'd work out she probably had to get Elle in the morning, and there was no way he'd make her late for that. So she slipped off her shoes, pushed the seat back and using his jacket as a blanket and his old cowboy hat as a eyeshade, she settled down to sleep.

By the time he came looking for her, he had set up camp, built a fire and had even managed a meal out of the emergency pack he kept in the truck. He banged on the window, "Come on sleepy head, come and eat. If fried chicken isn't good enough for you anymore you'll have to settle for tinned beans."

Jamie had always been able to sleep anywhere, cars, airports, abandoned buildings. Somehow though a part of her was always awake, alert to danger and although she didn't see him as a real threat she came awake instantly at the sound. "You know, I'm good here thanks." She said smiling sweetly.

He tilted his head down, as he looked at her, "Jamie, you can either come over to the fire and talk to me or I swear to God, I will throw you in the lake," he paused for effect, "and you know I will." He threw in as he turned and headed to back to the fire.

It reminded Jamie of a time long ago when they had been camping like this, just decided to take off one night, with no care or worries. They found a deserted beach, built a fire, and danced in the sand. In the morning she'd surprised him by emptying a cup of sea water over him. He'd laughed and chased her, eventually catching her and carrying her into the surf. Where he threatened to drop her if she didn't admit defeat, she'd laughed so much she couldn't speak, then screamed as he let go...

She came sullenly to the fire, still barefoot, but said nothing. He handed her a beer as she sat just staring into the flames. "Tell me" He said simply.

"Eliot, I don't want to do this," she began, "I don't have the energy right now."

"I know", he told her quietly, "so for once, just once let me help you. You said you were moving. Tell me."

She shrugged defeated, "Nothing to tell. We can't afford to stay where we are, so we're moving to an apartment nearby."

She heard his exasperated sigh, but he said nothing for a moment.

"Jamie, why do you insist on doing everything yourself? Tell me something, if we had not been separated by circumstance, and I'd gotten home and you told me about the baby and you'd have seen how excited I would have been, would you have let me help then? We were already living together, would you suddenly have decided to move out, or that I couldn't buy groceries or pay my share of the bills or buy a pack of nappies?"

He poked at the fire with a stick for a minute before continuing. "You know you make a big thing about trying to be fair to me where Elle's concerned. Making sure I get as much time as I can; but don't you think I also want to take care of her, provide for her? Don't you think that is as much a part of being a Dad as wiping her nose, and telling her off? Don't you think I have a right to that too?"

Jamie frowned but said nothing. "I get you don't want anything from me for you, and that is your right, but why did I find the only woman who doesn't want to get every penny she can from her ex in child support?"

Jamie snorted, and although she didn't say anything Eliot knew she was thinking it over. He figured whilst he had the advantage he'd press it home.

"I know you Jayney McGrath," he whispered, using her real name; the first time she had heard it in 6 years and she couldn't help but react to it from him, "you are so used to being the one to hold everything together, the strong one, the one who fixes things. It's okay sometimes to share that burden. I helped make Elle. I WANT to help raise her. You have to let me help; with all of raising her. That doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you a failure. You are a great mom, but I can see how tired you are. I can see you've lost weight, I can see you you're exhausted and worried and scared; and it makes me ... crazy" he said with frustration creeping into his voice, "that the woman I love will not let me help her."

"You shouldn't have tried to con me Eliot,"

"Tell me."

"Eliot, don't play games, I..."

"Just tell me, Jamie. Humour me."

She was silent for a few minutes, and Eliot handed her another beer. "So the morning I tell my daughter that we have to move, the morning my friends decide to set me up; yet again. I get a call from a publishing house about my manuscript. Not only do they offer me a substantial advance, but they want to talk on Monday about a three book deal."

He nodded understanding, "and you think this was me?"

"Wasn't it?"

He sighed again and rubbed the back of his neck. "I understand why you think it was, but I swear to you, it wasn't me. And as far as I know, it wasn't the team, if it was they didn't consult me; and if they had I would have stopped them. I'll call them tomorrow though and ask. If it was them I will tell them they were wrong; but just remember, if it was them: they did it out of love. Not judgement, not pity, not because they think you're weak. IF it was them and I honestly don't know, they did it because you're family: we take care of each other, you should know that better than anyone. Not so long ago, you were willing to go to prison to protect your sister; but now you won't accept any help back from that same family, how would you feel if it was Parker where you are now and she wouldn't take your help?"

She said nothing but he could see how low she was, exhausted and tired and for once he wanted to see her smile. He stood slightly slowly, smiling at her and held out his hand, "Come dance with me Ms Jamie Elston"

She looked at him with haunted eyes for a moment, not moving. "Come on Jayney, it's just a dance."

She took a deep, slow breath before taking his hand and standing. Eliot couldn't help but think how delicate she looked, how scared and vulnerable; but she let him pull her gently into him and started to sway as he hummed an old love song his mom used to sing. They stood moving in a slow rhythm, surrounded by memories of the past. Up close Jamie could only remember what she had lost, of their time together, of their days together, of their nights...

He wondered in his head what he was doing, she already had his stomach in knots, she'd tried so hard to push him away, but still he came back for more, again and again, wanting to make things right. He leant down burying her head into her hair, breathing in the smell. He started to kiss her neck. The last thing clear thing in his head was when he heard her breathe his name...

...


	16. Chapter 16

Jamie stuck her tongue out at the corner of her mouth as she frowned in concentration. She was trying to finish the last bit of painting in the new bedroom while Elle was out getting ice-cream with Eliot, but she was tired, she was always tired at the moment. She stood back and looked at her handiwork, pleased with what she saw. Raising her shoulders, she tried to stretch her back as she tried to calculate how much sleep she'd had in the last couple of weeks; she got as far as thinking she wouldn't like the answer, and stopped, absently rubbing her stomach. Not long to go though she thought, and then the fun really begins.

She went and sat down for five minutes, idly wondering if she'd be able to stand up again the way her back felt. She looked around the bedroom and smiled. They'd only been here 3 weeks but with lots of help they were decorated and unpacked and now just waiting... Jamie thought back to the last time she had moved home; into the house in Abbot's Grove. She'd loved the old house as soon as she'd seen it; it was only two bedrooms but it was everything her and Elle had needed, lots of natural night, pretty garden with a swing and family sized kitchen where little Elle could play whilst she worked. As much as she knew in her heart though that this move was the right thing to do, she couldn't help but be a little sad.

It had taken time and even more tears for them to get this far; for Jamie to let go of the fear; it wasn't so much about trusting Eliot, as about trusting herself. When Eliot came back and told her the book offer was genuine, a part of her hadn't believed him. She could usually tell when people were lying, however with Eliot she could never be sure; she wasn't sure if it was because of his job, former job she corrected herself, or because she loved him. She'd considered calling Parker; Parker she could read like a book, the book might be upside down or the words might read from right to left but that was okay; Jamie knew the key, instead she decided to believe Eliot; to believe in herself and the work she had completed. So when she'd turned up at the meeting with the editor she'd hid her nerves and negotiated a good deal for a first time author, as she left she smiled thinking even Sophie would be proud of her.

Jamie was brought back to the present by the pain that caught her by surprise, as she tried to catch her breath she heard the door downstairs open and Eliot called a greeting over Elle's excited chatter.

"Up here," she called down.

"Hey, I said I'd do this," he told her with mock exasperation, "you were supposed to get some rest, you're exhausted."

"Yeah, well. It's too late for that," she told him, "Here, help me up"

Eliot frowned, but he came over and helped her to her feet, drawing her into his arms, and kissing her softly. She smiled as Elle came back in and ran over squealing with excitement. Eliot scooped her up into a group hug, "Hey mommy, I had three flavours!"

"Wow, three?" she laughed as her daughter nodded very seriously. "Listen sweetie, I want you to go and get your special bag for your sleepover with Auntie Rose and Uncle Mike, okay?"

"Yeay," she cheered as she jumped down from Eliot's arms, "Sleepover!"

Eliot looked at her with a strange expression, a mixture of fear and excitement, "is it...do you mean...is it time?"

Jamie smiled at his discomfort, "Yes" she whispered, "the baby is coming."

She saw his eyes widen, and for the briefest of moments a look of panic swept across his face, but he took a breath and a grin spread across his face and all she saw was love in his eyes. All business, Eliot told her to give him a couple of minutes to phone the hospital and the Duvells and get Elle in the car, before coming down. She smiled at him and tried to reassure him there was plenty of time. It was hard sometimes to see his excitement; it brought it home how much he had missed with Elle, and although he told her he was making up for it now, it still made her wonder what could have been.

Jamie heard the front door open as Eliot ushered Elle out whilst talking to Rose on his cell phone. She took one last look around the room they had decorated for the son they were soon to meet. She looked at the furniture Eliot had lovingly handmade, running he hand across the crib, and was overwhelmed with a feeling of belonging, of love and of hope. As she turned at shut the door behind her, she couldn't help but think how lucky she was, how good life was and how their story was just beginning.

The End


End file.
